Thinking

5 Habits of Happy Single Girls

As a single almost 25 year old, I’m starting to get a lot of questions. Questions that include, but aren’t limited to:

“When are YOU going to find somebody and settle down?” (Everyone else in my family is married with two kids.)

“Do you even like guys?”

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“If you’re not careful, all the men are going to be either divorced and/or have something wrong with them. Doesn’t that worry you?”

It’s SO crazy to me how people just assume that since I’m single, I’m unhappy. Since when are happiness and being in a relationship synonymous? I LOVE being single! I honestly have never felt as confident, as driven, or as “me” as I have the past couple of years. A few months ago, I joined a social media group made up of girls and women looking for advice – to give it and receive it! It’s been such a blessing. I’ve made several wonderful friends who have supported me so much throughout my process of starting this blog! However, one recurring topic I’ve seen several girls talk about is how sad/worthless they feel because they aren’t in a relationship. Apparently this is a widespread issue!! And that is ABSURD. So I decided to write down a few of my thoughts in the hopes that at least ONE girl will read this and actually take it to heart. Here are some habits I’ve developed over the years that have led to me being one. happy. sassy. girl.

Focus on improving yourself for YOU, not so you can land a guy.

Take that guitar class. Get in the gym. Learn a second language. Hone your cooking skills. But do it because you want to impress yourself, not anyone else. Decide something that you want to get really good at, and work at it. Hard. It may surprise you how much you can accomplish when you’re not mindlessly swiping left or right.

Stop looking at other women as your competition. 

For what seems like forever, girls have been competing with each other for boys’ affections. And for what? What’s the point of life if you don’t have girlfriends to share it with? If single girls would start spending less time trying to figure out how to catch the attention of the male species and spend more time building relationships with other girls, the world would be a happier place.

Discover your passion.

While this isn’t the case for some, I think most girls who dwell on their singleness do so because they haven’t found something they’re truly passionate about. I’ve tried for years to figure out what my passion is. At first, I was discouraged because I felt I had too many passions! Music, theatre, writing, social media… It wasn’t until just a year or so ago that I realized my passion is storytelling. Nothing brings me more joy than connecting with people and telling them a good story. I just happen to have several ways of doing just that! And once I started really honing in on those abilities, I forgot that I was single. I’m just me, an independent woman, confident and EXCITED to see what pursuing my passion brings me.

Think about all the things you CAN do without a boyfriend/husband/kids… and DO THEM.

If I wasn’t single, I don’t believe I would have had the gumption to pursue my dream of being a travel blogger. In fact, there are a lot of things I can do that I won’t necessarily be able to once I’ve got another person in my life. I can travel on a whim. I can flirt with whomever I want! I don’t have to feel responsible for someone else’s happiness. I can go out with my girlfriends (and guy friends, for that matter) and not be made to feel guilty! I can literally make any life decision without worrying about how it’s going to affect my significant other. I’m not saying there aren’t plenty of good things that go along with being in a relationship, but instead of focusing on the things I don’t have, I focus on the things I do have.

STOP WORRYING ABOUT THE OPINIONS OF OTHERS.

I cannot stress this enough. As soon as I developed this habit, and I mean REALLY developed it, it was like I became a completely different person. I’ve spent my whole life worrying about what other people think. What they think about how I look, or how I act, or if I’m capable of finding a mate. But you know what? What business is it of theirs? Why is it ANYONE’S business but mine what I look like or how I act or if I’m single? As long as I’m shining this little light of mine and treating others the way Jesus would, I am doing GREAT. Because I’m strong. And smart. And kind. And independent. And beautiful. And I can be ALL of those things while single. I don’t secretly wish I had someone to cuddle with (I have a dog for that. Lololol.) or feel sad that I don’t have a wedding date. So don’t feel bad for me. And don’t feel bad for yourself if you’re on the single bus with me. Because let me tell you, it’s a great place to be.

Candidly,

Kristianna

20 Comments

  • Delisha

    My favorite blog of them all! (So far.) it amazes me that people still get so pushy about a girl not being married by a certain age. Makes me sad actually. Because I have realized after a failed marriage before the age of 30 (talk about embarrassing, I’d rather be single at 30 than already married and divorced by 30). I’ve realized from battling depression that I’ll never be happy if I can’t be happy at this point (meaning wherever I am in life today). There’s always reason to be depressed or sad or disappointed. I’ve watched naturally happy people. They have just as many problems as me. They simply handle them better. I always thought I’d be happy when I got married or when I got a job that wasn’t so stressful or when I had a baby. Then I realized ( I know I sound like Noel O) that I have to accept my life to be happy. Change what I can, but realize I can’t change everything. It’s a struggle every single day to work at changing the way I think. I guess what I’m trying to say is that people should be happy with their season in life. (I realize that there are times when being sad is healthy and acceptable like after a death. I’m referring to depression.)Nothing wrong with wanting to get married. But don’t rush it or feel unhappy. Do exactly what Kristianna is doing and look at all the advantages of being single. And a little advice… it’s better to be unhappily single than unhappily marrried. It’s the one thing you MUST get right or it will cause you grave sorrows.

  • Morgan

    yes Yes YES to all of this!!

    Girl, you clearly have a gift for storytelling and for edifying. I was on the single bus for what felt like too long before my first boyfriend (who is now my husband ❤️) but it was such a great place to be for that season of my life, because I grew into the me I was designed to be, not me with someone else or because of someone else.

    Stay sassy!

    • KristiannaLynx

      Yes girl, yes!! Thank you so much for your kind words. And you’re right! We’ve all got to figure out who we are as individuals before we can ever be happy with someone else.

  • Sheena Cunning

    I love this so much!
    I hear these things all the time as well. People assume that because I am single, I am looking for a partner. I’m not!!
    Finding a partner is not a priority for me.
    I am totally fine on my own.
    I enjoy my company. Prefer it actually, lol.
    Well done. I really enjoyed this article. I wish more people would understand that happiness is not found in another person, it’s found within. Start there.
    Xo

    • KristiannaLynx

      Yes!! That’s what I’ve been saying for years. “If you’re not truly happy with yourself, you’ll never be truly happy with anyone else.”

  • Czerina

    I love how honest and confident you are through your writing. I think this is great advice for everyone (single or not single) in order to be happy! I’m in a relationship and I still struggle with some of these things. But my SO is definitely always encouraging me to love myself more!

    • KristiannaLynx

      Thank you so much!! I’m so glad you liked it. We all struggle with a lot of these things (myself included). It’s all about persisting and always working on them!

  • Mane

    You are beautiful. I agree being single doesn’t mean you’re not happy. Someone will come at the right time. Keep smiling! 🙂

  • Haley

    This is awesome advice, thank you 🙂 I think I struggle the most with comparing myself to others. I need to stop doing that!

    • KristiannaLynx

      You do! We are all SO incredibly unique that it’s insane for us to ever compare ourselves to someone else! You have so many strengths that others wish they had. Remember that always! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *